Twas a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the park...

There is something I have been pondering lately. One could probably say I have used a substantial amount of brain power in my thorough contemplation of this very issue...brain power which would have been better spent on my Fine Arts art section final (if you've read the Epic.Fail. post, you will understand the significant depletion of overall brain power and mental function this class has caused me. But alas, that is all in my past, for now I am moving on to grander and more noble things- the Fine Art music section. No more Der Blaue Reiter, no more awkward pictures of naked people. The downside to this glorious change is that now I will have to walk all the way across campus to the PPAC at 9:15 in the morning, as opposed to the 20 feet to Beard Arts Center.)

Let me just say, that was possibly the longest parenthetical aside I have ever written. But I digress, and will return to what I was talking about in the first place..

 

Say you were choking, and you're by yourself; there's no one else around. Now, everyone knows that in this situation, you are supposed to attempt to give yourself the Heimlich, whether with your arms pumping your stomach or by falling over a chair or whatever. Well, when you are around someone else who is choking, you give them the Heimlich, and then, if that doesn't work, you call 911, right? So my question is, if you're by yourself and you're choking and the Heimlich doesn't work, do you still call 911? This would seem highly illogical to me, beings that if you have not been able to fix the whole choking problem by this point, you are probably not in the best shape to find your phone and call 911. So instead of giving yourself the Heimlich, should you call 911 first?? Wouldn't that make sense? I mean, if you don't call 911 and the Heimlich thing doesn't work out for ya, you're pretty much up a creek if you know what I mean. But who has the presence of mind to use the phone when they have a foreign object lodged in their windpipe and are gasping for breath?? Having never gone through the experience of choking or been in the presence of a choking victim, I have realized that I am completely unprepared to deal with the situation! Yes, we all know the basic theory behind the Heimlich maneuver- bear hug from behind, stomach thrusts upward- but what if, underestimating my own strength, I cracked the person's ribs?? Or worse, punctured a kidney or other vital organ?? I think we all need to take a minute and remember when our mother's taught us to always chew our food thoroughly, and never to run with something in our mouth. 

Or maybe that was just my mom.

But that's beside the point. What I want to know is, if I'm choking and I am by myself, who in the world is going to call for help when I turn blue and pass out from oxygen deprivation???

Does 911 have texting??